Preview of the NICU

While in the hospital I made an appt for Pete and I to visit the NICU. We needed to get a preview of where our babies would be and we needed to be as prepared as possible. Although we learned quickly that nothing can prepare you for what you're about to go through as parents of preemies. Wow...this post is making me emotional and I'm not even 2 paragraphs in. It's bringing back memories that I try to keep buried deep in my unconscious. Anyway - we had a nurse bring us through the NICU so we could see what was coming. The nurse is wheeling me in a wheelchair and Pete is walking next to me. We go into the NICU and there are a lot of babies in there. Many more than I thought would be. It's 11:00 - I remember the time because I remember thinking 'it's not early - where is everybody?'. By everybody I mean the parents of these precious babies. I'm wheeled up to an incubator and I see this tiny little being all hooked up to tubes and machines and beeping. Oh Lord...the beeping. I don't know this baby but I want to hold her. I want to pick her up and tell her everything will be ok and how beautiful she is. But of course I can't. She's not mine. Mine are coming soon. I ask if we can see a baby this weighs around 2lbs so we can know what ours will look like. She says there is only 1 baby in there that is in that weight range and we can't see her - she's too sick for any visitors. I understand. We go back to my room and I ask Pete what his take is. He is fine. He knows our babies are going to be just perfect. He is stronger than I am when it comes to feeling this way. But he's the rock at this moment and it's good because I need that. I'm still confused by the emptiness of the NICU though. I ask him "where were all the parents?" I mean...here are all these babies and there wasn't a single parent in that room. He says something like maybe visiting hours haven't started yet but I know better. I have had time to read the rules and I know that parents can come and go any time of day or night. I let it go. It's not my business where the parents are.
Flowers, flowers and more flowers. My room is full of floral arrangements. People kept sending flowers. At one point the nurses are saying that I've made the entire floor smell really good. Pete's aunt and uncle from MD have sent a huge floral arrangement. I'm convinced these are the flowers making the entire floor smell so great. I'm thankful because they bring so much life and color to an otherwise boring hospital room.
Everything to this point is fine and under control. Even my heartburn. I have to monitor every few hours and I'm pretty good at finding the babies heartbeats right way with 3 separate monitors. Usually the nurse comes in and I just get myself hooked up and sometimes the nurse stays to chat. One of the nurses has twins and she has her husband bring them in one day. They are adorable. While I'm monitoring I'm suppose to be calm and quiet but it's hard when people are visiting. If I laugh - it makes a mark on the strip and makes it look like I'm having a huge contraction. I have to mark every one of these little blips so they know it was just me laughing. Usually my little brother Joey or my friend Kim are the biggest culprits of my laughing. I'm counting down the days until the next growth scan.
Michelle