You know what the best part about being an 'adult' is? I no longer have to do things someone else's way. When you're growing up you always have someone standing over your shoulder telling you what you can/can't do or how you have to do things. Now...the only person over my shoulder is the God that I answer to. And His word means more than anyone's. I say this because recently Pete and I have been facing some challenging situations.
When the girls 1st came home from the hospital we were tired to say the least. Let's go back to that time (quickly...very quickly...lol). Hannah & Hailey needed to eat every 2hrs, Emily every 3hrs. I had 3 alarms set on my cell phone and then one on the alarm clock. I never slept through a feeding. Never. Not one time. No matter how tired I was...I got up.
Alarm #1 goes off. I wake up Hailey, feed her and hand her to Pete so she can be held. I wake up Hannah, feed her and hand her to Pete so she can be held. They needed to be upright for 45min - we found they would only spit up 1/2 of what they would if we layed them right back down. I wake up Emily, feed her and by the time she is done all of them can go back to sleep. I now have to pump. For 20-25 minutes I got to watch my family sleep. I'm done pumping, and after taking care of the milk - I can sleep for 45minutes before alarm #2 goes off. Hannah and Hailey need to eat again. After feeding and holding them - I can sleep for another 45min before alarm #3 goes off to wake up Emily for her next feeding. Reset the cell phone alarms, pump and sleep for 45minutes before the alarm clock goes off to feed Hannah and Hailey again. This is the smooth rundown. This doesn't include the diaper changes, change of clothes after they spit up, crying, wanting to be held more...and so on.
Ok...let's get out of there...that's not the happiest of times for us...lol. What's the point in going back to that though? It's this: At 2:00 in the morning when you have 3 babies that are 100% dependent on you and you have to pull every ounce of your energy together to make it happen...who's there? I can tell you who was there for me. God and Pete. That's NOT to say that we didn't have help. We did. And God knows we needed it. Who doesn't? We have 3 kids...we'll ALWAYS need help. And we know that. But with that said we have learned that help comes at a cost. It has cost us friends. It has cost us relationships. It has cost us alone time. It has cost us time away from our kids. The number of people that cycle through our house during the day is welcoming to us. It warms our hearts to know that people care enough to help. To know that we need help and to offer it without asking is overwhelming.
But there are times when we make decisions and those decisions are not open to debate. They're not open to 'tweaking' and they're not open to discussion at all. Bringing it back...WE...Pete and I...are the parents of this little trio that we've brought into this world. We're going to make mistakes. We're going to mess up in big ways. And when we do - God will catch us, put us back on our feet and help us move forward. We have to let the little things go. If we don't - we will do nothing but fight and argue. We have soooo much more to concentrate on. So many more important things to worry about. So yes - I've adopted the 'I don't give a f__k' attidue and it's not because I really don't care. It's simply because I can't care about the small things. I don't have the time, energy or patience to. And since I have adopted this new attitude...life has been much easier on Pete and myself. We've said it a million times - we only get ONE shot at doing this whole kid thing. And we're going to do our best to do it 'right'.